Fat Zombies

While the world goes into lockdown, one country, one state at a time…we the flight attendants continue to plug away. We Lysol our coats, throw a bun in our hair and a smile on our face and we serve those few that are left trying to make their way back to their friends and family.

I worked a trip today with a good flight attendant friend. Our last flight of the day donned just one paying passenger. Four crew to one passenger, better than a daycare ratio. This left some time for my friend and I to speculate.

“If this is the end of the world” I said, “I am not sure that I want to continue to eat healthy. The last thing I want is to eat a red pepper and some hummus as my last meal. In fact I think a lot of us may get pretty well rounded in the coming weeks.”

I continued, “And if this becomes a zombie apocalypse, then how will we be able to tell who is a zombie and who is not? What with all of the hair dressers, nail salons, botox places and such shut down. It may be difficult to distinguish. And if there were zombies would I be a person to throw my hands up and let them eat me? I mean with no Cheez-its, no ice cream, no Netflix left in the world…would I want to stay and fight?”

My friend looked at me and said, “I believe you would be one to throw back her hair and tie on a bandana.” This is one of the many reasons we are friends.

“Yes.” I said, “But if those that are less agile are the ones to be changed first, why were there no fat zombies in The Walking Dead? That just doesn’t make sense.” She agreed and we could not understand why.

Do the undead lose weight? Do they care about fitness? We had to find answers. So I asked our trusty Google upon landing.

“Ok Google, why are there no fat zombies in The Walking Dead?”

And of course I was not the first to ask this, and the answer was there.

Ready for this? And I quote Robert Kirkman (co-creator of The Walking Dead) in his explanation of why zombies aren’t fat. He states, “I’ve covered this before, I like to think they’re always pooping….undigested bits of flesh….it just passed right through. Fun!”

Is it Robert? Is it “FUN”?

I arrived home to find a text from my friend. Please see attached photo.

So there you have it ladies and gentleman. If this virus turns us, then be ready to run, or don’t…just grab a bag of Cheez-its some Netflix and settle in.

Written By

New Yorker, photographer, blogger, and life time dreamer.